My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i now understand why vodka
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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