If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
