so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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