Someone shit on the floor
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
