doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
