he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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