ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
