Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
