D3 body, D1 cock
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dicks are not precious.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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