What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
