i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
