Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
