If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
