I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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