I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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