i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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