I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
