dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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