Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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