So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
