dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The adults are the big ones right?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize