why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize