i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
