they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
