therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
