how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize