You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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