so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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