the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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