Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
