i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
