oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
