so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I have post one night stand depression
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