11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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