YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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