I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
