and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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