So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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