Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
