I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
