Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Couch. On fire.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
