i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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