I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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