whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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