just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
