I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
