Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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