So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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