Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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