dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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