maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
