GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The air was thick with penises
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
