there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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