how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have fence marks all over my body
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
