Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
