he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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