i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
