talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize