we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
