I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
