thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
