i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
soo... how was my night?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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