She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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