I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
