my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
